The Pack

I am trying to run. Every mourning I wake up bright and early, the first thing I do is get some water and drink it. I do this in attempt to hydrate myself for my mourning run. Then I let the water settle in, and eventually I go for my run.
The funny thing about running is I don't enjoy it in any way while I'm doing it. I do it because I know that it is a necessary exercise for me at this stage in life. Each step is a small mental battle, and inevitably after every run I know deep down that I could have gone much farther. Still even more of a mental battle, getting up each mourning to do the run.
Running takes perseverance, determination, and an often overlooked quality, preparation. That's right, the mental battle would be much easier if I would only take the steps of preparation the night before, aka getting to bed on time. Also eating healthy portions at the right time will help me in my battle to run. Ultimately though, nothing has helped me run more than accountability. I have a person who is willing to keep me accountable to run each and every mourning, at the price of 5 dollars for every time I skip!
Still at the end of each run there is a part of me that is so glad that I took the time and energy to make a step in the right direction. Being healthy is an enjoyable thing.

My current struggles in life can very easily relate to my running predicament. See I know my weaknesses, God has made them all to obvious to me, but the problem is that I don't view them in the same way I view running. It's a long term gain with miniature mental battles all along the way. Still when it comes down to it, just like health, I know what I need to do to change. It's the doing it that seems to get me every time. Up until this last year I was too ashamed of my faults to let other people know I had them, so I would try my hardest to hide them. I'm not ashamed anymore, I openly admit my struggles and that allows me to ask people to keep me accountable.
Still the cold hard truth is that a big part of me doesn't want to change. That has kept me for the most part from allowing someone to keep me accountable... but the truth is, I'll always run farther when someone is running with me! We were meant to run our lives together, bearing with one another in love. Bearing each others burdens! Life is like a race, it's long and hard, with little battles all the time, don't you want to run it with people? I do, and I am going to!