Today I sat in my dorm and watched a basketball game with about 6 other guys in my dorm. Seeing how we interacted with each other in that setting made me again question the behavior we proclaim as acceptable.
First, I think mostly we think gossip to be a problem with women alone. Partially this is because women do love to know what is going on in others lives and it's true that often girls gossip because of that. Also this is partially thought because women are more sensitive so when they are talked about behind their back it seems to hurt them more. But today I sat and heard, for probably 20 minuets, what I would consider gossip and it was completely accepted by the guys. I know I am often the problem but I also tend to get very uneasy when we say anything about a person that is not flattering when they aren't around. I guess the question I have is why do those things need to be said? Is it really something that builds up, is it loving to the person who you are talking about?
Not even that, but it seems to me that gossip is also unloving to the person you are talking to because you are giving them a poor view of the person you are speaking about!
It has been hard, but I am trying to figure out where that line is between just joking around and actually slandering someone! So I leave it open for debate, let me know what you think... where is the line? what is gossip? what is slandering a brother? and when do we just need to take a joke for a joke and toughen up?
Secondly, there are certain guys in the dorm who from the moment they step into the room to the second they leave guys just rip on their every word. Here I struggle more but even though I'm part of the problem it's not hard to see that it is a problem. Where is the love? I mean I know that these guys can get on our nerves from time to time but it's not as though they have done anything terrible! Nothing certainly deserving of mockery! What ever happened to coming along side of someone in love and trying to show them when they are doing something that can get on people's nerves rather than mentally gang beating them?
Lastly I want to say that I have a lot of respect for the guys I am talking about in many ways, but just what seems to be acceptable to most all of us seems to be rather unbiblical! Please leave you comments and let me know if you feel that I have been irrational in this post!
1 comment:
Good posts lately. I think you're getting this blogging thing down.
I think there are a few things going on here. First, college is a very immature time for guys. After college, the real world and all its responsibilities hit, and guys grow up.
Second, I don't think there's a definite line between what's a joke and what is mean-spirited. It just takes knowing what the other person can take and how they're hearing what you're saying. Which takes a prior relationship. So if you really want to rip on somebody, get to know them first.
Gossip is destructive because it's invisible; it all takes place behind the back, instead of confronting people.
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