You ever have one of those moments where a particularly odd thought comes into your mind, lays it eggs, hatches, begins to grow, and by the time it matures your perspective seems to have flopped upside down?
Well as you may have guessed that has happened to me. I know, and have known, that I am a sinner. I also know it is easier to see the sin in other people, but the part of my perception that really got flopped upside down is how horrible I really am at seeing other's sins. As a person I tend to evaluate in my head how I think other people are doing in their lives, mostly spiritually. I know I could never truly know the inside of a man, for only the spirit inside him can! Still I would evaluate people spiritually and it's funny that I just realized the other day that almost every time my evaluation is directly linked to how that person acts towards me! If they have been kind and receptive towards me I view them as a person who is looking out for others and caring, but if they are rude to me or annoyed with me I think they are in the wrong and must be struggling spiritually!
I know this sounds so perverse, first of all that I judge others spiritually is probably bad enough, though we are called to consider our brothers and often my intent in that is to try and encourage them. But I realize now that I am really just trying to boost my self esteem, telling myself that if they don't like me or care for me it's because they don't love God. It's time for me to face facts, a person can have a wonderful relationship with God and not be in love with me! I see the rouge selfishness that I possess and I realize why it can be so detrimental for me to judge the spiritual states of others!
This thought was really helped along by a post my brother made on his blog a few days ago about Jesus saying "I desire mercy not sacrifice". I know this sounds like me trying to advertise my brother's blog but since I am convinced he is the only one who reads this thing, and maybe my sister, this would be about the least effective advertisement ever! So anyways, his blog is anotheroneinthedark.blogspot.com and you should really check it out!!!
I am praying that the Lord would help me be discerning in my view of others, not ignorant but also not condemning!
3 comments:
I'm happy that our ideas are sharpening each other.
I struggle with the same thing a lot. I think it's natural to see yourself as right, and therefore everyone who disagrees must be wrong. Also, it's a power trip to think that if they can't get along with me, they can't get along with God.
But I struggle more with the opposite extreme. I have a deep sense of allowing, which means I just accept anyone no matter what. Also not good.
Also, I just went and changed the title of the post, because I thought up a better one...
I will go and read Ben's blog as a direct result of your shameless plug. He should really pay you to advertise!! :)
Love,
Your sister
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